Keep It between the Ditches (A Political Analogy)

Longfellow’s eloquent line, Sail on, O’ Ship of State, certainly doesn’t fit the state of affairs today.  These times are anything but smooth sailing.  This is more like a road trip in an over-crowded vehicle with an unknown driver behind the wheel.  Some see it as a shiny new Corvette with a savvy NASCAR driver.  Others view it as a clown car, aghast that the clown is driving.

The type of vehicle and our opinions about the driver matter not.  The main point is this: we’re all on this ride together, and it’s in everyone’s best interest that we help the driver keep the car between the ditches.  For the sake of this analogy, think of our American experience as a ride on a bus.

It’s been traveling for two-hundred-and-forty years, and forty-four men have taken turns driving.  The road has been bumpy and dangerous at times, but for the most part it’s been an incredible journey and the passengers were safe.  On Inauguration Day, we gave the keys to a new driver named Donald and began the next leg of the trip. It will last four years.

One month later, we find ourselves stuck in an out-of-control vehicle, hitting bumps and dodging oncoming traffic while swerving back and forth across the center line.  Passengers are yelling at each other and hurling insults at the driver.  Donald throws insults back at the them while he steps on the gas.  His friends enter the fray and cause even more problems.  People who are supposed to be reporting the progress of the bus watch from the shoulder of the road.  They have their own agendas and add to the chaos.

Passengers on the left side of the bus are angry; very angry. They hate this driver and can’t accept the fact he’s driving instead of the woman they expected to get the job.  Some of them yell obscenities while waving signs and throwing things.  Others retreat to ‘safe spaces’ because they can’t handle the trauma.  All of them criticize everything the driver does and scream hysterically whenever he signals a turn in the road up ahead.  Some plot to throw Donald off the bus.  They don’t seem to realize this will not get them their woman driver.  Donald will only be replaced by another driver from his side of the aisle.

Passengers on the right also add to the problems on the bus.  They are quite smug because their guy got the job, and they refuse to listen to anything coming from the left.  They fight among themselves and with the driver.  They disagree with the way he laid out the map and argue about the stops he plans along the way.  Several are back-seat drivers, constantly pointing out Donald’s every mistake instead of helping him navigate the road.  Like passengers on the left, many on the right don’t like Donald and hoped for a different driver.  Some hold grudges; some think they could do a better job.

More shouting can be heard outside the bus where reporters are screaming at the driver and at each other.  The air is filled with insults, lies, and name-calling.  Donald is especially irritated with this bunch, and takes his hands off the wheel to open the window and hurl insults at them.

The driver’s best friends sit behind him and urge him to drive faster.  Steve likes to insult all the passengers and reporters.  When Kellyanne tries to calm things down, she misspeaks and makes things even worse.  Sean tries to whip the reporters into shape by barking new orders, but he’s mercilessly ridiculed for his attempt.  Reince is tasked with keeping things under control, but his voice is lost in the din.

In the midst of all this, Donald is supremely self-confident and relishes the chaos about him.  He’s having a grand time driving the bus and dishing out insult for insult, along with disparaging remarks about those who disagree with him.  Even though most of the people on the bus supported him when the journey began, several have tired of his bravado and want to see a more appropriate demeanor in their driver.

The majority of people on the bus stand in the middle aisle without causing any trouble. They are non-partisan and non-political and simply want the public’s business handled in a way that allows them to go about theirs. They are fed up with all the racket and want everyone to calm down. Most Americans understand that we all need to work together to keep the bus between the ditches.  If it crashes, we’re all in deep water.